Losing My Soul Dog

Hi everyone, long time no talk around these parts. This is my first blog back in quite a few days, I’ll try to write more as I continue to process everything. So here’s an on-the-fly brain dump since I haven’t been able to get any sleep these last 40 hours and I’ll try to blog my way through what I’m feeling at the moment, so don’t judge if there’s any grammatical errors in this.

This is about heartbreak.

You’ve read this before.

So you don’t need a bunch of quotes, eloquent details and vivid images to imagine the scene. You’ve been there. Been here.

I unfortunately lost my dog & best buddy Rocky on Friday, March 24th at 12:28 p.m. (Central Time) after more than 13 wonderful years with him.

His passing was abrupt.

So this is about devastation, which I’ll feel for a long, long time. It’s the only emotion that makes sense.

I got Rocky in February 2010 and I had no idea what I was getting myself into. But it turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Rocky and I had such a tight and strong bond. He truly was my soul dog. Him and I were borderline inseparable.

One thing I’ve learned in the past approximately 40 hours is that pet grief is real. I’ve realized that people can sympathize your pain, but only those that can emphasize truly understand your pain.

There’s that pain of wanting your pet back for one more hug, to whisper in their ear that you love them so friggin much.

I haven’t left the house hardly at all since his passing because I’ve self isolated to try and process the abrupt ending. But the one time I left the house and returned, along with returning from the vet on Friday…coming home to an empty house with no wagging tail to greet you is an extremely sad and hard adjustment.

The house feels empty. And reminders are everywhere. Having to pass by their empty bed (and a house full of their things) and feeling a deep void.

I’ve lost my daily rhythm – the daily walks, play time, cuddle time, tv time – my life and time revolved around him.

Not everyone understands that it was never “just a dog.”

It’s been about 40 hours since I’ve lost my best buddy, and gosh do I miss him so bad. I love him so much and I’d love nothing more than to have him back and spend one more day with him.

I fortunately was able to have a few minutes alone with him at the vet’s office before we had to put him down, but when it came time, I lost a part of me that can never be replaced.

It was kind of like, you let the air out of the balloon. And that’s the only way I can explain it. He was my beating heart and my heart just hasn’t beat as well as it did before, once he was gone.

As I conclude this blog, I’ll note that there probably will be more blogs in the future on this topic.

I’ll miss you dearly, Rocky. You will forever and always be loved by me and everyone else. Thank you for being the best soul dog anyone could ever ask for. I hope you felt like I did everything I could for you, because you did everything you could for me.

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