Another Tribute To My Dog Rocky

I apologize in advance for however this goes.

A friend of mine asked if I cried when I wrote my rough draft of this & said I was doomed if I did & if I made a YouTube video with this.

So I guess I’m doomed. It’s alright.

Almost 15 years ago I lost my grandmother, among others, which wasn’t easy because her & I had a great relationship.

But, if you’ve been keeping up, this is more difficult. Because anytime I’ve written a blog, or gone live on Twitch or YouTube, or doing anything around the house whether it was watching a sports game, cleaning up the house, just watching tv….sitting next to me in one of the comfy chairs or behind me in his spot on the couch, was Rocky the dog. And the couch & chair are worn in like a catcher’s mitt because of him.

Ever since COVID, when we seemed to do much more on Zoom & FaceTime, if you talk to me, well, you got him as well right over my shoulder because he always just wanted to be wherever I was.

Now sometimes he’d stand up & readjust. Sometimes he’d lick himself. Because hey, what do you want from me? I’m a dog.

I didn’t wait too long to get my first dog. Rocky arrived when I was 20 years old. Training wheels before you have a kid, right? Make sure you can take care of something, keep it alive.

That turned out to be a battle. And man, did he battle. He had so many injuries I lost count & some medical scares, I jokingly started referring to him as Rocky The Bullet Dodger.

He fought through so much & just kept on trucking.

But, nobody dodges them all. And yet when three tumors arrived, it turned out to be the bullet with his name on it. And I said goodbye to my bestie boy.

I don’t know what in my life has made me cry like this. Such profound sadness over a love that was so damn pure.

Now it bothers some people when I say nothing has ever loved me the way Rocky did.

I just ask them “I ever do anything that made you mad? Uh huh. Exactly.”

Rocky was never mad at me. Now, he wouldn’t look at me when I’d leave for work. He’d get into the garbage when I’d be gone for too long. But that was his cross as he ever got with me.

Nothing we do could earn what our dogs give away to us for free. That level of love & loyalty.

And so many of you know what I am talking about.

I’ve read countless moving tributes through the years about what your bonds meant & what made your dogs unique, & I always felt badly for you. But I had no idea, honestly, & I wish I didn’t know now.

The truth of the matter is that the only thing our dogs have to do to take up this much room in our hearts & in our souls is be ours.

Rocky gave way in the pecking order to a select few. So gentle, so patient, so protective, he would have taken off your arm if he thought you meant to do them harm.

But even as these select few would pummel him & hug him tight & pestered him, he never so much as showed his teeth even one time to any of them in protest.

Simply by his presence, he had been a joyous & loving constant every single day of my life & everyone else’s.

Trying to explain his passing & absence to my friend, who I had just talked with about him two days prior to his passing, was one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve ever had to do. Rocky absolutely loved her & would get the zoomies whenever I’d say her name, probably because she always told me to give him extra belly-rubs & cuddles for her. How do you make it make sense to others? Hell, how do I make it make sense to me?

And the simplest explanation I suppose for any of this is the truest: That the best part of this life, is loving anything. And you do it, even knowing the hardest part, which is somewhere in the equation, inevitably, there will be loss.

And the weight of this one is immense. Because he was the corner puzzle piece. So much of what mattered to me, the big things & the little, connected to him.

When I get home from work, especially if it was late at night, I’d sit in a chair in a room off of our kitchen in the dark. And I’d wait to hear the click of his nails on the floor. And then he’d barrel down the stairs, tail going like a helicopter, & he’d headbutt my knee again & again like he was saying “give me some love papa & some treats.” Alright little buddy, I got plenty of both for you.

Just like sitting by me when I was watching a sports game, it was the last part of our daily routine to be wherever I was. And now he’s not.

Since his passing, every day after work, I’d rather drive all the way from the Midwest to the Pacific Ocean, instead of taking a short ride home where I’m going to sit in the dark, waiting for my Rocky boy.

But if this hurt is the cost of the transaction, for being on the receiving end of a mighty love that I got to know in Rocky the dog, then I pay it with enormous gratitude. Because even though I’m crying, I was just so happy he was mine & I’m so happy I was his.

My friend said simply, dogs are grace. And Chris Stapleton sings about a revelation that a dog has a soul. And they’re both right.

I stared into the eyes of Rocky as his soul came to an end on Earth, & I promised him again & again, yours is going to forever live in mine.

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