Six Months Later, I Still Miss My Fur Baby

Today marks six months since I lost my bestie boy Rocky.

While the anniversary dates (24th of every month), his birthday, holidays, the date I got him, etc. will forever be etched firmly in my mind, many of these occasions will be personal to me, but to everyone else, especially people outside of my inner circle, are likely completely oblivious to their significance.

Six months down & a lifetime to go. What I’d do to have you back, Rocky. Our time was cut short, but the memories we made will always hold an irreplaceable space in my heart.

There will be a piece missing from me for the rest of my life. And although I may try to fill it with people or things, I know I will always feel that void. And maybe, that’s what they mean when they say: “I’ll hold space for you.” Because that space will always be yours.

There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about Rocky. I will always wonder what life would’ve been like if you had never died. The world went on without you & that’s such a cruel truth to accept.

I had a dream Friday night/Saturday morning that Rocky & his pal Inga were playing together like best friends & then I woke up to find nothing but an empty house, with Rocky’s beds & food/water bowls empty, not seeing him waiting for me to go outside.

It was one of the most heartbreaking feelings I’ve had in the last couple months.

I was in denial for a while that maybe … just maybe he’d come back. But Friday, I got a tattoo in Rocky’s memory & looking at the dates was the moment that I knew he was gone. Because it was the moment that everything became even more real.

There’s some people I know that don’t care for tattoos & in years past have told me to not get them & that I’ll regret it. But as my good buddy texted me when I sent him the picture, he said: “I love it…just like you love Rocky. People don’t understand a lot of things…Fuck ‘em.”

Now when people ask me: “What’s that?”

I get to tell them about my soul dog.

For those that are curious, yes it is Rocky’s paw print from the mold paw print they made when he had passed.

I’m so thankful that Rocky came into my life & that I loved him with my whole heart.

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