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I’m posting this quite a bit later than intended.
The bond with a dog is as lasting as the ties of this earth can ever be.
Today, March 24 2025 marks the two-year anniversary of losing my best pal, Rocky. It’s still a tough day and tough to think about. Rocky wasn’t just a “pet” to me, he was my whole world.
I still remember how painful that day was, how tired my eyes and heart was. I still remember staying up until around 4:30am messaging with the person who always told me to give Rocky extra cuddles and belly rubs.
I remember two days after Rocky passed, a good buddy of mine was telling me his story on losing his previous dog and how he mentioned he would have given 20 years off his life to spend one more week with that dog, which I can relate to that.
No one warned me of the emptiness you feel walking in your home for the first time or phantom sounds and sightings once your soul dog passes away.
I really miss my baby boy, but heaven is so lucky to have him.
I know I haven’t been the same since Rocky died. I mentioned it in a previous blog that there’s a melancholy in me that never goes away. I’m 50% happy and 50% sad at any given moment. And the only advice I can give people when you lose someone or a pet like that, is that you won’t ever get over it, and the more you know that and embrace it, the better off you are. I don’t want to forget my dog, and I don’t want to forget what it felt like when he passed away because he deserves it, that’s how important he was to me. So if I have to “suffer” and if I have to be “sad” for the rest of my life, and if I have to be lonely without him, for without his particular thing, his goofiness and what he brought to life, then that’s the way I’ll honor him. You know, I’ll be sad and melancholy about that forever and I know it, and I accept it, and I’ll live with it.
People have said to me, “Nick, it’s been (insert time), don’t you think it’s time to move on?”
No, let me be sad, even for a little while because it’s all that I have left. When all I see are the memories, I don’t want to lose a thing, let me be sad. Two years ago, in a matter of 45 minutes my whole world was shattered.
Have you ever lost someone and it felt like a part of you went with them? Life goes on people say, and somehow we managed to laugh, to keep moving forward. But there’s always that quiet space they left behind, an ache that doesn’t quite go away. People expect us to move on, but how do you let go of someone who shaped your life, someone whose presence became a part of who you are. Maybe the truth is we don’t fully let go. Maybe some losses are meant to stay with us, maybe not as pain, but as a reminder of the love and connection we were lucky enough to experience, because in the end the people/animals we lose might be gone, but the impact they had on us remains. They’re woven into our memories, our choices, our dreams and maybe that’s how they live on … forever a part of us.
Some things I’ve learned since losing my soul dog:
- It doesn’t matter how long it’s been. Anytime you think about them, you’ll cry/get teary eyed.
- You’ll keep asking yourself “why?”
- You’ll wish you took more pictures and videos.
- You’ll feel guilty for just about everything.
- Certain places will trigger you with emotions.
- You’ll replay the last moments with them forever.
- You’ll wish you weren’t the one to make that decision.
- You’ll be angry you didn’t get more time with them.
- You’ll talk about them to anyone and everyone.
- You’ll look for them everywhere…
- You’ll find ways to keep their memory alive.
- You’ll learn to give yourself grace because grief has no timeline.
- You’ll feel them with you everywhere you go.
- You’ll learn who is there for you and who isn’t.
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